I meant to spend Sunday, reading and writing blog stuff, but once again, the blog stuff was pushed back. I haven’t been a blogger much at all lately.  In fact, I posted this yesterday with some song lyrics and then went back this morning to change all of that because I had something to say.

Since I graduated, started a new job, and a new life on my own, I have been adjusting, reflecting, thinking…I haven’t been shooting as much as I would like to, however, I carry my phone with me everywhere and can’t help but shoot everything I see. You can find me on flikr and instagram all the time.

Graduating was a wonderful feeling. I know it was 20 years past when I felt I should have graduated, but it was an accomplishment I won’t ever forget. I was determined and focused and I enjoyed it. I used all the struggle and pain in my life to fuel my body and my brain to keep going, and it was something special, almost magical. Something just about me. Something that was mine and no one could take that away. I was in control of the outcome and I didn’t give up.

I learned more from that experience then from any in my life. I learned more about myself in this feat more than any in my life, and in this battle, I WON!

Lately, I just wanna be….

I don’t want to push myself, schedule myself, force myself to do anything or be anything. I just wanna be!  Just taking one small step at a time. Waking up without a plan, without thinking too far ahead, without feeling I missed out, or could haves, should haves.

Just to be.

I am merely just a shadow of what I used to be, and it hasn’t been a smooth ride on the rollercoaster of my crazy life. I find myself now… searching for that girl, that heart, the smile, all that was me. I need time. I want to give myself time, freedom and space. Quiet, solitude…for healing and reflection, for saying nothing. Just to be…

Like the flowers, like the trees,

the Sun, the rain…like they all do.

to shine in the light and be just like me.

I need time to just be…